The Unnecessary

Wrecked by a wave of emotions, a man was seen laid on sand beside the sea. Lifeless and apathetic, losing himself to the whims of his mind, he chose to keep his eyes closed, embracing the darkness persistent to his mind. Unaware of the scorching heat above and the hot mud below, he was lying there engulfed by the grip of his emotions. He felt as if he was floating in the air, not because he felt light hearted, but because he wanted to rise above the ground, untouched and unseen by anyone. He wanted to reach a state of total nothingness, both inside and outside his mind, forcing himself to be alone and far of everything and everyone.

He had often seen himself lying beside the sea, unable to understand the nature of forces that acted on him. He only knew that the forces had acted as they desired and that he, though considered himself strong and tried hard every time, ended up being a puppet in their hands. He thought to himself, while staring at himself in the mirror of his restroom and punching hard in his chest, that he had the power and that he was not made to taste the mud every time. He had often seen himself looking at the horizon and desired to go beyond it, to feel the quietness he had always attempted to achieve in his mind. He had often tried to achieve the equilibrium of the horizon, acting as a single absorbing entity for brightness and darkness.

He had once jumped from a bridge, in an attempt to feel the silence at the bottom of the river. He had opened up his arms and legs, lying with his forehead touching the riverbed. He had felt stillness he had always wanted to achieve. He had slowly come out and lay on the river side with his hands pressing his head on both sides, to stop any thought from traversing his mind, in a bid to maintain the stillness of riverbed, in a bid to avoid the unnecessary.

I still see him, indulging in “the unnecessary” and then correcting, talking to himself in a bid to remind him of the space beyond the horizon. I still see him around me, engrossed in his own world, trying to clear the mud off his soul. I feel him whenever I feel the unnecessary – the anger, pain, agony and hatred. I feel him whenever my expectations rise to unnecessary limits. 

He has become my only hope against hope, the only force against all forces and the only inspiration – the horizon I want to feel and the riverbed, I want to experience.