PYRE - By Perumal Murugan

It’s Devastating and very intriguing. Reading about the diseased mind of the people of Kumaresan’s village makes you feel claustrophobic and sympathetic for Saroja. Saroja was always with me and is still with me after I finished reading the book. She was so pure at heart and so simple minded that you want to be close to people like her. In today’s world of innumerable prejudices, she is worth a company to have. There was always a parallel thought running through my mind. The thought that why could Kumaresan not protect her. If he had loved her so much, why he could not shield her? One perspective was that he too was a child at heart and loved her passionately and he wasn’t matured enough to understand the extent of orthodoxy and narrow-mindedness of the people of his village. But, I would even consider him a fool to have risked Saroja’s life like that. I am agonized to feel the extent he subjected himself and Saroja to be victimized by the village people.

A woman left everything for you and then it’s your biggest responsibility to give her the life she deserves. Waiting for things to be fine proved catastrophic.

I feel very sad for Saroja and I want to take her out of that pyre before it turns her into ashes. I want to take her away from her father and brother who were not bothered about her and away from Kumaresan who could not protect her. 

Was heaven the only place left for a person like her?

Ek note paanch sau rupaye ka

Ye lo pichle hafte ki apni pagaar….poore paanch sau rupaye…..

Shukar hai aaj pagaar mil gayi….ghar mein sab raashan khatam hai….aur guddi ke liye naye kapde bhi lungi is baar….pichle che mahine se vahi ek frock dho-dho ke pehen rahi hai….

Bhai sahib….ye parche ke hisaab se raashan ka saamaan dena toh zara…

Lo ye paisa…

Yeh kya behen….paanch sau ka note nahin chalega…

Par 333 rupaye hi to bane hain kul milake…

Haan behen…par Sarkar ne paanch sau ka note band kar diya hai…

Kya bakwaas kar rahe ho bhai? Kal hi seth ne diya mujhe….

Diya hoga….kal raat 12 baje se hi band kiya hai Sarkar ne….

Samajh nahin aaya bhai….ab raashan kaise milega?

Jaake ye 500 rupaye ke note ki jagah sau-sau rupaye ke note lao…

Kahan se laun?..tum hi de do bhaiyya…

Main kahan se dun behen? Main toh khud pareshan hun…..

To main kya karun ab bhaiyya?

Tum aisa karo bank jaake note badalwa lo…..

Kya keh rahe ho bhaiyya?.....Main aaj tak bank nahin gayi….

Toh apne seth se baat karo behen…..

Theek hai bhaiyya….baat karke dekhti hun…..

(Agle din….seth ke paas)

Sethji….ye paanch sau ka note koi le nahin raha…mujhe sau-sau ke note de do…

Kahan se laaun main sau-sau ke note? Apna kaam kar jaake

Par seth ji ghar mein raashan bhi nahin hai…Guddi ko kya khilaun?

Vo sab mujhe nahin pata…jaa apna kaam kar….

(Shaam ko dukaandaar ke paas)

Bhaiyya seth toh meri baat nahin sun raha….main kya karun ab?....

Meri maan behen…kal bank chali ja…

Par bhai 5 km door hai bank….main kabhi nahin gayi….aur phir poore din ki pagaar jaayegi….

Aur kya chaara hai tere paas behen?

Theek hai bhaiyya….kal jaake dekhti hun….

(Agle din 2 ghante chalke bank pahunchne ke baad)

Arre kahan andar jaa rahi ho behen….dekh nahin rahi itni lambi kataar hai? Peeche jaake khadi ho jaao….

(Ek ghanta kataar mein khade rehne ke baad bank ka karamchari bahar aata hai)

Apne apne ghar jaao….paisa khatam ho gaya hai….

(Sab log kuch der jhagda karte hain….phir jhalla kar jaane lagte hain…Jyoti bank ke karamchari ke paas jaati hai)

Sahab….mere paas ek hi paanch sau ka note hai….sau-sau ke note de do….do din se raashan khatam hai….Guddi ko kuch khila nahin paayi hun….

Arre main kya kar sakta hun behen….sab note khatam ho gaye hain…..badi mushkil se kuch note aaj pahunche the…..vo bhi khatam ho gaye….

Par saahab main kya karun?

Kal aana behen….

(Vo mayoos hokar do ghante ka raasta tai karke phir ghar pahunchti hai….Guddi bhookh ke maare ro rahi hai….vo pados se kisi tarah ek roti ka intezaam karti hai ayr Guddi ko khila kar sula deti hai…par use neend nahin aati….is soch mein ki kal bank mein kya hoga)

(Agle din subah jaldi uthkar vo phir bank pahunchti hai….utni hi lambi kataar mein lag jaati hai)

Bank karamchari thodi der mein pahunchta hai….

Bhai apne apne ghar jao….aaj paisa nahin aaya hai….

Nahin aaya?...Par kal to aapne kaha tha sahib aaj aane ke liye….

Kaha tha…..par main kya karun?...Paisa nahin pahuncha….kal aana….

(Vo phir ruaansa sa munh leke vaapis ka raasta the karna shuru kar deti hai….raaste mein ek ghar ke andar use Pradhan mantra TV par dikhte hain toh vo sunne ke liye khadi ho jaati hai)

Pradhan Mantri: Bhaiyon aur behenon….mujhe garv hai apne deshvaasiyon pe jo desh ke liye lambi kataaron mein khade hone se nahin ghabra rahe….kaale dhan ke khaatme ki is ladayi ke liye app sab ne hi mujhe shaasan ki baagdor saunpi thi…..bhaiyon aur behenon….main aapse keval 50 dinon ki mauhalat maang raha hoon…..mujhe yakeen hai ki is desh seva se aap peeche nahin hatenge…..

Ye sunkar use kuch zyaada samajh toh nahin aata….kataar mein khade hone se vo kaise desh seva kar rahi hai?....ye kaala dhan kya hota hai?...usne aaj tak kabhi bhi kale rang ka koi note nahin dekha tha…..is soch mein doobe hue use yaad aata hai kichunaav ke samay vo kis tarah vote dene gayi thi…us samay jo ab Pradhan mantra hain unki baatein use badi bhaayi thi….gaaon mein bhi sabhi ne yehi kaha tha ki ab achche din aayenge….

Khair ye sochte sochte vo ghar pahunchi to Guddi phir bhookh se behaal mili…..Jyoti ki samajh mein nahin aa raha tha ki vo kya kare….pados mein rukmini ke paas gayi toh pata chala ki vo bhi khaana nahin paka saki thi….

Ghar aake kisi tarah paani pilakar Guddi ko sula diya….soch rahi thi ki do din se kaam pe bhi nahin jaa saki hai….do din ki pagaar to vaise hi barbaad ho chuki thi….ek paisa nahin tha uske haath mein…kya kar sakti thi…kal phir bank jaana hi panda tha….khud bhi bhookhi pyaasi vo behaal ho chuki thi par koi aur raasta dikhai bhi toh nahin padta tha….par vo abhi bhi yeh nahin samajh paa rahi thi ki vo kis tarah ek sachi deshpremi hona saabit kar rahi thi? Kaala dhan kaisa dikhta tha?.....uske kataar mein khade hone se kale dhan ka aur deshseva ka kya lena dena tha?.....aur kya ye achche din the jo vo samajh nahin paa rahi thi?....ye sab sochte sochte uski aankh lag gayi…

Agle din phir jaldi uthke Guddi ko sota chod baahar se darwaaza band kar aur rukmini ko Guddi ka dhyaan rakhne ke liye bolkar vo bank ke liye nikal padi….

Vahan jaakar phir vahi nazaara dekhne ko mila….aaj teesra din tha….log kataar mein khade the…thodi der baad bank khula toh dheere dheere kar uska number aaya…vo bank saahab tak pahunchi aur apna paanch sau ka note de diya….saahab ne kaha apna aadhaar card ya raashan card kuch dikhao….

Vo toh kuch laayi nahin thi….use kya maaloom?,,,kisi ne toh aisa nahin bataya tha….vo saahab se gidgidayi ki vo use aaja paise de den to vo agle din raashan card laake dikha degi….

Par saahab tas se mas na huye…bole main kuch nahin kar sakta…sarkaar ka order hai…..

Roti bilakhti pareshan vo paanch sau ka note muththi mein band kar ghar ki taraf chal padi….

Ghar pahunchi toh rukmini guddi ke sar pe thande paani ki pattiyaan kar rahi thi….Guddi ko bahut tez bukhaar tha…..Ghabrayi si Jyoti ne Guddi ko uthaya aur paas vale dawakhane ki taraf daud padi….Vahan doctor memsaahab ne Guddi ko dekha to bola ki use bade aspataal mein bharti karaana hoga….shayad koi machchar se kaatne vaali beemaari ho gayi thi Guddi ko…..

Jyoti ghabra gayi…bada aspatal to 10 meel door tha…kaise leke jaaye Guddi ko?...Paise bhi to nahin the uske paas….Doctor memsaahab ne bhi haath khade kar diye the…khud bhi veh is kaale rang ke note ki vajah se pareshaan thi….

Kisi tarah Guddi ko god mein uthakar vo rikshaw vale Jugnu bhaiyya ke paas pahunchi…sab baat batayi to vo Guddi ko rickshaw mein le jaane ko tayyar ho gaya….Rikshaw mein ek ghanta lag gaya safar the karne mein…Guddi bilkul behosh thi….

Ek ghante baad aspataal pahunche toh vahaan bhi lambi kataaarein thi har jagah….kisi tarah ek doctor memsaahab se baat karne ko mili to usne sab kissa sunaya…. Doctor memsaahab ne use rukne ko kaha aur bola ki main bade saahab se baat karke aati hun….isi mein do ghante aur beet gaye…

Achanak use vahi doctor memsaahab dikhi….bhagkar unke paas gayi aur poocha to unhone kaha Guddi ko laao main dekhti hun….

Guddi ko jaanchne ke baad vo doctor memsaahab boli ki Guddi ko kisi cheez ki zarrorat hai jo aspatal mein nahin hai…kya cheez thi use samajh mein nahin aaya tha….Doctorniji ne bola tha ki ya to vo baahar se intezaam kar ke laaye yak al subah tak ka intezaar kare….

Baahar 2 meel door ek dawakhana tha….vo bhaagkar vahan pahunchi toh vo bhai bola ki 500 ke note ke badle vo veh cheez nahin de sakta….Jyoti kahin se sau sau ke note laaye….Usne bahut madad maangi par kahin se intezaam na kar paayi….

Thak haar kar behaal vo chaar ghante baad aspataal pahunchi….Guddi ke paas gayi aur uske sar pe pyaar se haath phera….Guddi ko choote hi vo sannate mein aa  gayi….do minute baad hosh aaya toh bhaagi doctorni ko bulaane….

 

….Bejaan Guddi ko baahon mein bhar ke vo ghar ki taraf chal padi…..khud bhi ek zinda laash ki tarah…..ghar pahunch ke Guddi ko bistar par leta diya usne…..chulhe ke paas padi hui maachis uthayi aur paanch sau rupaye ke note ko jala daala…..phir apni ek saadi uthayi aur upar lage pankhe ke saath latak gayi……

Reminiscence of those days.

What if this was my last day to breathe?

Of inhaling and exhaling I am an expert at,

Of a few expectations from even fewer relationships,

Of my unfulfilled dream and my wasted being…

It appears to be a dilution of something,

Or a delusion of a powerless and incapable me,

A dilution of the fortitude of my mind,

A delusion of my mind’s imagined realities…

A schizophrenic mind listening to life’s last serenade,

A seeming salvation leading through a lonely arcade,

A stagnation, a realization of an unrealized dream,

A lonely fight with myself, a self-pitying scream…

A continuance of the superficial existence,

Of a mechanical motion guided by a clueless mind,

Of a million roads that lead to nowhere,

A body crippled with irrationality, roaming everywhere…

Ek woh Jahan!

Yun ghar ki bheeter baitha mein kahin kho sa gaya,

Khidki ke bahar nazar daudayi to kuch ehsaas hua,

Kuch samay ho gaya tha jab se ghar mein band tha mein,

Shayad ye ek darr tha jo mujhe jakad raha tha..

Ab socta hun ki Maut ka kafan bandhe chalun wahan,

Ek woh jahan, jahan maut bahut sasti hai…

Yun darr kar chupe rehna kuch thik nahi lagta,

Dekho, ye khidki ke bahar to bahut log hain,

Yeh to bekhauf chale jaa rahe hain,

Kya apni jaati bhula dene se kuch asaan ho jayega,

Ab socta hun ki Maut ka kafan bandhe chalun wahan,

Ek woh jahan, jahan maut bahut sasti hai…

Par ye log to mujhe nahi bhule honge,

Inhone hi to mujhse mera parichay karwaya tha,

Mein musalmaan zyada aur bhartiye kam ye batlaya tha,

Par yun chup ke baithna to thik nahi lag raha,

Ab socta hun ki Maut ka kafan bandhe chalun wahan,

Ek woh jahan, jahan maut bahut sasti hai…

Kya is desh ke kannon pe bharosa kiya ja sakta tha,

Jo khud shikaar ho shikaari ki bhumika nibha raha tha,

2002 se 2013 tak 995 ‘fake encounters’ kar chukka tha,

Par nahi, mein 996^th nahi ho sakta, mera dharam mujhe doshi kaise bana sakta tha,

Ab socta hun ki Maut ka kafan bandhe chalun wahan,

Ek woh jahan, jahan maut bahut sasti hai…

Yun sarhad par ka rasta dikha diya jaana bahut ajeeb tha,

Raam ke naam pe yun masjid girana bahut ajeeb tha,

Gai ko bachane ke naam pe yun humein maar girana bahut ajeeb tha,

Hindutv mein jadke us kanoon ka ek tarfa nazariya bahut ajeeb tha,

Bhopal ki jail mein woh 8 kaidiyon ka “fake encounter” bahut ajeeb tha,

Ishrat jahan ko is jahan se ruksat kar dena bahut ajeeb tha,

28 September 2015 ko Mohammad Akhlaq Saifi ko lynch kar maar girana bahut ajeeb tha,

Aur in sab mein kuch ajeeb nahi tha to mera yeh dar,

Jo bar bar mujhe sab yaad dila raha tha,

Har din ke baad raat ka ehsaas dila raha tha,

Din ke ujaale mein andhkaar faila rha tha….

Aaj ki raat shayad ek haseen subah le aae,

Jab mere desh ke vaasi, mein jaisa hun, mujhe vaisa hi apnaein,

Mere sar ki topi ya daadi se nahin, mujhe mere karm se pehchaane,

Hindu muslim sikh isaai, aapas mein hain sab bhai ka naara lagein…

Aur agar kahin ye na ho paye, To ab aur na darunga,

Ab badh chalunga us jahan mein jo mera bhi hai,

Bas ye aaj ki raat nikal jaye, ek haseen subah mein ek nai shuruaat karunga,

Maut ka kafan bandhe chala jaunga wahan,

Ek woh jahan, jahan maut bahut sasti hai…